The other day I was speaking with a couple of my friends and they were complaining about a family event they had that they felt obligated to go to.
This, believe it or not, is a normal routine for them. They get the invitation, they bitch and moan about it, dread it until the day comes, then they drag themselves to whatever the event is, hate being there, ruin their whole day by the exercise, and then complain about it afterwards for a while.
What is this all about?
I was asking myself this question for a long time as I kept seeing it over and over not only with my friends, but also in many of my private clients. I wanted to find out some of the effects that Saying YES when you mean NO can have on you if you just choose to accept that “this is just the way it is!”
So, let’s look at those real quick!
- First of all, you waste a lot of your precious time that you could be using to put together a Lifestyle Business strategy you absolutely love or in connection with people you would actually love to be around,
- You waste a lot of your energy, as doing things you don’t like to do typically drains you!
- You keep yourself in worry and anxiety, two very low emotions that take a lot of very good ones to turn it around,
- You seriously lower your vibration through your feelings, making yourself less able to act as your highest self and manifesting the things you desire in your life and business
- You are reinforcing to yourself (and everyone around you) that it’s ok to do things that you don’t love to do, that are not your highest standard
All of these are important. However, today, let’s focus on the first point here…your precious wasted time .
If we put it all on the table, why do we really do this?
It all comes down to two emotions, GUILT AND SHAME! Guilt because otherwise we will feel bad that we let someone down based on expectations that OTHERS have about us. Shame because if we don’t do what is expected, then others will say mean and nasty things about us which make us feel bad about yourselves.
On a very primal level, if we avoid Guilt and Shame, we avoid being lonely and being excluded from the tribe, having to fend for ourselves.
Don’t get me wrong, we all do this. It really is more about finding where in our lives are we giving in to Guilt and Shame and letting it go than to go into Guilt that this is happening! 😉
I recently found myself making a long list of gifts that I felt somewhat obligated to get for people while I was traveling.
I realized what I was doing and I chose to continue because it did bring me some joy in doing it. However, I also made myself a promise never to do that again.
“But Sazzu, I get this when it comes to friends, but I can’t with my family because…”
Listen, I totally get it. However, so long as you stay in that place of doing things to please other people, it’s going to be hard to live a lifestyle business that is really fulfilling to you. This is something that we can help you create, and quickly.
And what about the expectations that you have about yourself? Don’t they count and just as much?
By asking yourself some very key questions and answering them honestly for yourself, you can open up to many possibilities and start living a completely different life, where you take back full control of your time.
Will you try it and let me know how it goes in the comments below?